


thorns and all

by bangyabangya



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Angst and Feels, Boyfriends, Falling In Love, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Polyamory, Seungsung, binsung, seungbin, seungsungbin
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-23
Updated: 2019-02-23
Packaged: 2019-11-04 05:21:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,603
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17892275
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bangyabangya/pseuds/bangyabangya
Summary: kim seungmin is prickly and particular, but seo changbin doesn’t mind. in fact, he loves him— thorns and all.but nothing good lasts forever, and now that han jisung has wormed his way into the center of both of their lives, things have to get worse before they can ever get better.[established seungbin + new boy jisung; super sweet domestic au that goes up into angsty flames]





	thorns and all

**Author's Note:**

> Loudest shoutout to StayLovely09 for this fic! Half of this plot is directly from her genius brain and this AU wouldn’t exist without her. Thanks for plotting with me and editing this mess!

“Wow, it's still weird to see you like that.”

   Seungmin eyed Changbin up and down before he climbed in the car. The white collared shirt and loosened tie looked good on him, but Seungmin would never say it. “You're such an office drone now.”

   Changbin raised an eyebrow at him. “Yeah, well, this office drone is gonna take you out to dinner. Still complaining?”  

   “Me? Complain? _Never_.”

   Changbin elbowed him playfully from the driver's seat, silent laughter making both of their shoulders shake. “The day a complaint slips out of the mouth of Kim Seungmin, that's when I know the world is over.”

   “We would've been long dead by now,” Seungmin mumbled. He knew he could be petty and particular. When he was with Changbin, though, he didn't feel so bad about it.

   Changbin leaned over the center console, looking up at Seungmin with a steady gaze. The liner the older boy liked to use was slightly smudged, making his eyes look softer and bigger than they really were. Those eyes could convince Seungmin to do anything, no matter how many reasons he could think of not to. “I wouldn't care,” Changbin said. His playful tone was gone. “Even if the world ended, I'd still want to be with you.”

Seungmin was frozen, a blush creeping up over his cheeks. Changbin lifted out of his seat a little bit to close the distance between them, bringing their lips together. Just for a moment.

   When he pulled away, Seungmin finally came to his senses. “You're so gross,” he said, pushing Changbin away with a fake scowl. Changbin just laughed and started the car, shitty pop music filling the space between them. They didn't say anything during the drive, but it wasn't an uncomfortable silence. Seungmin used to ride with Changbin to campus every day, back before Changbin graduated. This was where their life happened. Where Seungmin fell in love, one drive and one stupid joke at a time.

* * *

 

   “Chris is bringing someone new to the studio tonight,” Changbin said, twirling pasta around his fork. Whenever Seungmin let him pick the restaurant, it was _always_ Italian. Not that he minded. He was happy with pizza, and Changbin looked good in this kind of place— suit jacket slung over the back of his chair, his white shirt standing out against the dark wall of wine bottles behind him. A flush on his cheeks.

   “Yeah? Who?”

   Changbin shrugged. “Some college kid. Same year as you, I think.”

   Seungmin scowled. “I'm not a kid.”

   “Oh, right, sorry. Hey, where's your drink? Did you forget to order one? Should I call the waiter back over?”

   “I'm turning twenty-one in _six months!_ If I have to listen to you tease me about it one more time, Changbin, I swear to God, I'll—”

   “What? Kill me? Hot.”

   Seungmin was _this_ close to chucking his napkin straight at Changbin's face, but Changbin was sitting there with that _stupid_ grin— the one where his nose scrunched up— and just like always, Seungmin's anger melted away and he just started laughing instead. This was why he loved Changbin. Life was so _annoying,_ sometimes, and Seungmin had all these thoughts running around in his head. Negative thoughts. But somehow, Changbin had a way of just… melting those thoughts away.

   “We're gonna have someone new start at the shop soon, too,” Seungmin said. He worked at a little coffee shop near campus, just a tiny hole-in-the-wall that specialized in pour overs (he couldn't believe how much people would pay to wait ten minutes for a single cup of coffee). “I have to train them all next week, so I'll be working more than normal.”

   Changbin pouted. “But you were gonna come to mine and Chris’s show on Thursday.”

   “I know, sorry.” Seungmin sipped his cola, only partially wishing it were wine. Cola went better with pizza, anyway. “I'll make it up to you though.”

   His boyfriend looked up from his pasta, eyebrows raised. “Does that mean what I think it means?”

   Seungmin sighed dramatically. “ _Yes_ ,” he said, rolling his eyes, “ _you_ get to pick the next movie for movie night.”

   A huge grin spread across Changbin's face, and he lifted his wine glass in the air. “Seungmin, you are a wonderful human being. How did I get lucky enough to end up with you?”

   “ _Ugh,”_ Seungmin said, scrunching up his face. “You're being more dramatic than usual today. I'm gonna be sick.”

   “If you get sick, I'll just take care of you.”

   “Seo Changbin, you are disgusting.” He was all bark and no bite, and picked up his glass to hide the smile that was tugging at the corners of his lips. Anyone else might get offended at the harsh words that were always coming out of his mouth, but not Changbin. Because Changbin knew him, and he knew that Seungmin needed a layer of sarcasm to cover up all the things underneath.

   Changbin loved him for who he was. Thorns and all.

* * *

   They didn't see each other again until the next Friday night. Seungmin was absolutely exhausted from working after class five days in a row, and he was in an even worse mood than usual.

   “The new part-timer is the _worst,”_ he huffed, collapsing onto Changbin's couch. “He's super messy, and it's like he's not listening to a word I say! I've told him like _ten times_ not to use the same measuring cup for dairy and soy milk, but he _keeps fucking doing it!_ Every time!”

   Changbin nudged Seungmin's legs over to make room on the couch and sat down next to him. “That sucks,” he said. If anyone else had said it would've sounded like a half-assed attempt at sympathy, but he knew Changbin was being genuine. Sometimes Seungmin just wanted to vocalize all the things running around in his head, just to get them _out_. He didn’t need solutions or suggestions— he just wanted somebody to listen. And Changbin was great at listening.

    “He looks goofy, too,” Seungmin went on, scooting himself down until his head was pillowed on the armrest and stretching his legs out on Changbin’s lap. “Stupid fluffy over-bleached hair.”

   “You shouldn’t make fun of the way people look,” Changbin chided him gently. His hand rested on Seungmin’s knee, thumb running back and forth over the bone.

   “Ugh, I know,” Seungmin mumbled. “His hair is fine. It’s just… he gets on my nerves. And I’ve spent, like, _every_ day with him this week. I’m so ready to never see his face again.”

   “Poor Minnie,” Changbin cooed. “Maybe he’ll quit.”

   “God, I hope so.” Seungmin put an arm beneath his head, looking over at Changbin. The other boy was freshly showered, wearing an oversized black tee and loose grey sweats. His hair was sticking up in the back. It made Seungmin smile. _Cute_ , he thought. “Hey, how did your show go yesterday? I’m really sorry I missed it.” He had been so busy he hadn’t even had a chance to send more than a _Good luck!_ text on Thursday night.

   “It was crazy, actually,” Changbin said. He shook his head, getting his blunt-cut bangs out of his eyes. “The turnout was huge. I think people were really hyped up about J. One.”

   “Oh, the new guy?” A slight frown appeared on Seungmin's lips as he played with the strings of his hoodie. Changbin had been talking about him a _lot_ lately, and Seungmin didn't know how he felt about it. He didn't like new people.

   “Yeah! He did really well for his first time.” Changbin seemed to notice the expression on Seungmin's face and quickly went on. “Chris thinks Woojin might've bullied his marketing intern into tweeting about the show though, and that's why the crowd was so big.”

   “Yeah right, like Woojin could ever bully anyone.”

   “I dunno, I heard him on the phone once at the studio. Somebody at his company leaked a track early, and his voice turned cold as fucking _ice_. I never wanna be on the wrong side of that man.” Changbin shivered.

   “Oh, wow,” Seungmin said. “I never would’ve guessed. He’s always so sweet with Chan.” He paused, scratching at the back of his head. “They’re cute.”

   “ _You’re_ cute.” Changbin poked the little piece of skin that was showing where Seungmin’s shirt had ridden up. “Look at this belly. It’s so cute I wanna kiss it.” He bent down, pulling at Seungmin’s shirt, as Seungmin squealed and tried to wriggle away.

   “You _monster_ — you know I’m _ticklish_ — you’re the _worst!”_ Seungmin gasped in between fits of laughter. And then suddenly Changbin’s face was close to his, hands still. Seungmin’s heart was pounding from the momentary struggle. “Am I really the worst?” Changbin asked softly, staring into Seungmin’s eyes.

   Seungmin brought his hand up to Changbin’s cheek. “Of course not,” he whispered. It was only in moments like this— soft, still moments, hidden from the rest of his life— that he could say what he really felt. No coating of sarcasm; no fake irritation. Just... the truth.

   “You’re not the worst,” he mumbled, moving his hand to the back of Changbin’s neck and pulling him in closer. “You’re the best.” He pressed his lips against Changbin’s. “And I love you.”

   The movie Changbin picked out never made it out of the case.

* * *

   “Come _on_ , I told you not to do that!”

   The boy looked up at him with wide eyes, startled. “Huh?”

   Seungmin put a hand to his temple and let out a long breath. “The milk, Jisung. I told you; you can’t use the same storage containers for soy and dairy.”

   Jisung looked at the pitcher in his hands and blushed. “Oh. Sorry, Minnie.”

   Seungmin’s hands balled involuntarily into fists. “Please don’t call me that,” he said through clenched teeth. _This kid is really testing me today._

   “Oh,” the other boy said again. “Sorry.”

   “Can you just— go and take the trash out? I’ll finish closing.”

   Jisung nodded and scampered away. When he was gone Seungmin gripped the countertop and leaned over, touching his head to the cool surface. He’d been snapping at Jisung all day today, and it was starting to wear him out. Being in a bad mood isn’t easy.

   There was something about the new part-timer that just rubbed Seungmin the wrong way. Actually, _everything_ about him was irritating, from his unkempt blonde hair always getting in his eyes to the way his feet tended to turn in towards themselves while he worked the register. Seungmin found himself staring at the boy randomly throughout the day, and when he realized what he was doing, he would just scowl and find something to yell at him about.

   It didn’t help that Jisung was inherently messy and never cleaned up after himself. As he went about his shift, making drinks and preparing pastries, he left a trail of dishes and crumbs behind him— which Seungmin had to spend half of his _own_ shift cleaning up. And, as Seungmin had discovered on the first day, Jisung had a habit of dropping things. _Breakable_ things. They’d already lost five coffee cups and three saucers, and it had only been a week and a half.

   Shaking his head to rid himself of thoughts of the other boy, he quickly finished cleaning up. After putting away the leftover odds and ends, Seungmin closed out the register and made his way towards the manager's office, clutching the bag of cash carefully to his chest. Just when he was turning the corner he collided with something small and solid: Jisung.

   Seungmin lost his balance and started to stumble.

   “Whoa,” Jisung said, putting his arms out to steady Seungmin. One hand caught him around the waist and the other gripped his shoulder, and now suddenly they were so close Seungmin could see the tiny little imperfections that dotted the skin on Jisung's cheeks. The younger boy's eyes were even bigger from this angle.

   “Are you okay?” Jisung asked, not removing his hands.

   “I…” For some reason, Seungmin’s heart was pounding. His body felt hot where Jisung was holding him.

   When he realized what was happening he jerked back from Jisung’s grip, rubbing his shoulder where the other boy had grabbed him. “I’m fine,” he snapped, a deep scowl on his face. He turned on his heel and stomped off towards the manager’s office.

   “Minnie!”

   He stopped in his tracks, furious. “What do you want now?” he hissed.

   Wordlessly, Jisung held the bag of cash out towards him. Seungmin snatched it from his hands, his face hot from both embarrassment and anger. He couldn’t even speak. He just stormed off, leaving Jisung standing there by himself.

   Seungmin stayed in the manager’s office until he was sure the other boy was gone.

* * *

    A week later, Seungmin finally had a chance to make up for missing Changbin's last show, and the venue was packed. Seungmin had never seen so many people at one of his boyfriend's lives. His chest swelled with pride.

   Changbin met him at the bar. “Hey!” His face was flushed and he had a beer in hand as he leaned in and pressed a kiss to Seungmin's cheek. Seungmin immediately wiped the wetness away with the back of his hand. “Look at this!” Changbin shouted happily over the noise of the crowd.

   “Wild,” Seungmin agreed. He laced his fingers together with Changbin's, partially because he missed him, and partially to show everyone else that this guy was taken. Changbin always got a lot of attention when they went out. He almost transformed into a different person— sweatpants and bedhead traded in for leather pants and heavy, smudged makeup. It had taken Seungmin a long time to get over the jealousy of randoms coming up and hitting on Changbin right in front of him, so now he just fought it by being possessive instead.

   “Do you wanna come chill with Chris and everyone until we go on?” Changbin asked.

   “Yeah, of course. Is Woojin here too?”

   “Yeah, he's already back there. Come on. I want you to meet the new guy!”

   Changbin had been talking about the new addition to their group nonstop for the past two weeks. Seungmin was actually kind of sick of hearing about him. His stage name was stupid, and whenever he heard it come out of Changbin’s mouth he tended to stop listening. So he rolled his eyes at the mention of Changbin’s new best friend and followed his boyfriend to the rooms at the back of the venue.

   Chris was the one who opened the door, and he wrapped Seungmin in one of his huge bear hugs, wiggling Seungmin from side to side. Changbin breezed past them into the room.

   “Seungminnie!” Chris cooed. “Missed you.”

   Seungmin laughed and, when his arms were free again, hugged Chris back. He loved Chris. The older boy was like a big brother to him. “Hey, Seebie.” The name was an inside joke between the three of them— when Seungmin first met Changbin, he was always talking about his older friend, CB97. Seungmin had no idea what he was saying and he was too self-conscious to ask, so for the longest time, he actually thought Chris’s first name was ‘Seebie.’ He figured it was a weird Australian thing and didn’t have any idea it was wrong until Changbin made a family group chat with the three of them plus Woojin, and Seungmin actually fucking said, “Who’s Chris? Where’s Seebie?” It’s a wonder he lived long enough to see it become an inside joke and didn’t just crawl under a rock and die right then.

   Chris stepped back and Woojin took his place, giving Seungmin a much more calm hug. “Long time no see,” he said, a soft smile on his face. Everything about Woojin gave off a put-together, capable sort of vibe. He was dressed casually, just jeans and a collared shirt, but the jeans were clean and well-fitting and the shirt hung perfectly on his broad frame. It helped that his jeans alone probably cost more than Seungmin's entire weekly paycheck, but Seungmin didn't hold it against him.

   Just as Seungmin was about to say hello back, he was interrupted by a voice coming from inside the room. And not just any voice.

    _His_ voice.

   “Oh, wow! Minnie, is that you?”

    _You have got to be fucking kidding me._

   Woojin stepped aside to reveal none other than Han Jisung, sprawled out in one of the armchairs in the small backstage room, looking like he owned the place.

   If he were a cat, Seungmin would be baring his fangs right now, back arched and tail sticking straight up in the air. As it were, he just stiffened all over, his body tense and ready to spring. The smile vanished from his face.

   Changbin would usually notice the shift in Seungmin’s stance and go immediately into damage control mode— he was familiar enough with Seungmin’s mood swings. But he was already sprawled out in the chair next to Jisung, leaving Seungmin standing there by himself. _Fuck you,_ he thought, feeling guilty as soon as it popped into his head but completely unable to will the feeling away. When he got like this— bristly and sour— it was almost like he was watching a movie. Like he _knew_ he was being an idiot, but he was powerless to do anything about it.

   Woojin glanced between the two youngest. “Do you two know each other?” he asked cautiously. He, at least, had noticed the shift in Seungmin’s attitude.

   Seungmin didn’t say anything. He didn’t trust himself not to blurt out something scathing. He didn’t have to worry about silence, though, because Jisung’s mouth apparently never stayed shut.

   “Yeah! We work together!” Jisung said happily. _How can that idiot be happy right now? Haven’t I been mean enough to scare him away yet?_ “Minnie’s been training me since last week!”

   At his words, Changbin’s eyes widened. “Oh,” he said, mostly to himself. “Oh, shit.”

   The room was silent. Chris and Woojin looked vaguely puzzled. “What do you mean, ‘oh shit?’” Chris asked.

   Jisung looked back and forth between Changbin and Seungmin. At first he seemed just as confused as the others, but then something seemed to click and his face fell.

   “Oh,” he said, his voice low. “Seungmin, you… you're Changbin's boyfriend, aren't you?”

   As soon as he said it, Changbin put his head in his hands. “Shit,” he said again. He wouldn't take his hands away from his face.

   “Okay, something is obviously going on here,” Woojin said, stepping into the middle of the room. “Who wants to fill me in?”

   Changbin let his hands fall to his sides, his face bright red, still looking like he wanted to hide. “I, uh…” He gulped and looked down at the floor. “I might have mentioned that Seungmin was… not crazy about his new coworker.” His eyes flitted up to meet Seungmin's briefly, a guilty look on his face. “I didn't realize it was... Jisung….”

   Every terrible thing Seungmin had ever said about Jisung flashed through his mind, and suddenly he felt like he might vomit. He'd never meant for Jisung to ever hear those things.

   “I— I think I'm gonna go home,” he blurted out.

   “Don't bother,” Jisung said. He got up from the lounge chair. “I'll go. Have a good show, you guys.” And then he pushed past Seungmin, leaving them all in stunned silence.

   “Fuck,” Changbin said.

   That night, SpearB and CB97 gave the worst performance of their career.

* * *

 

   “How could you _do_ that?!” Seungmin shouted as soon as the door to Changbin's apartment closed. He'd been stony silent through the whole car ride home.

   “Seungmin, I—”

   “I have to work with him, Changbin! Like every day!”

   “I—”

   “Now he's gonna hate me! How am I supposed to—”

   “ _Babe_ ,” Changbin said sharply. He only ever called Seungmin 'babe’ when he was really, really mad. “You're not letting me talk.”

   Seungmin shut his mouth. “Sorry,” he mumbled.

   “You know I didn't do this on purpose. I had no idea Jisung was the new guy at the cafe.”

   Seungmin knew. He _knew_ it wasn't Changbin's fault. But he still couldn't do anything to stop the ugly, hot feeling of anger building up inside of him. “It doesn't _matter_ if you knew or not _._ I can't believe you just go telling everyone what I talk to you about!” He could hear the whine in his voice but couldn't stop. “I _trusted_ you.”

   As soon as the words were out of his mouth he knew he'd made a huge mistake. For a moment Changbin looked absolutely crushed, but as quick as it came the look of vulnerability was gone, replaced by a hard, stony mask. “That’s not fair,” he said flatly. “You _know_ that's not fair.”

   Seungmin knew he should say something, but his mouth wouldn't move. And then it was too late.

   “I listen to you complain _all_ the time!” Changbin shouted. Seungmin flinched. He rarely pushed Changbin over the edge, but when he did, it was always painful. “And I never say anything! Never, not even when we're on a date we've been planning for weeks and all you do is talk about all the things you _hate;_ all the things and people in your life that aren't good enough for you. And now you're really gonna say you don't fucking _trust me?_ Cut me some fucking slack, Seungmin!”

   The worst part of all this wasn't even how much it stung to hear the truth laid out like that by the person he cared about most in the world. No, the absolute _worst_ part of this mess that he'd managed to get himself into was the tears that were welling up in the corners of Changbin's eyes.

    _I'm the worst person on the whole planet._

He moved towards Changbin, hesitant. “Binnie,” he pleaded. “I'm sorry. Don't cry. I didn't mean it, you know I didn't mean—”

   “Then why did you have to fucking say it?” Changbin choked out. “You always just say whatever you want. You never think about how it makes people _feel_.”

   “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” Seungmin whispered over and over again, his hands frozen in the air, reaching out towards the other boy but afraid to go all the way. Eventually he just let them drop to his sides. “You’re right. I’m the worst. I never think about what I’m saying. I’m… I’m lucky you put up with all my bullshit.” But the words hung in the air, empty and hollow, as his boyfriend stood in the middle of his living room, crying— and Seungmin unable to close the distance between them.

   The thought was all he needed to break the paralysis and he shook his head to clear it. Two tiny steps was all it took to bring him to Changbin, and Seungmin hesitantly wrapped his arms around the smaller boy, feeling Changbin stiffen at his touch. “I’m sorry,” he said again, squeezing Changbin tighter. “I fucked up. Binnie, please….” He nuzzled his head against Changbin’s hair and just stood there, waiting for Changbin to relax in his arms. It took a moment, the room silent except for Changbin’s sniffles, and then finally Seungmin felt Changbin’s arms wrap around his back. Not tightly— he could barely feel them— but they were there and that was all that mattered.

   Seungmin hugged him for a moment longer and then pulled back, looking down at Changbin’s face. It was puffy and red from crying, and Seungmin felt pain stab at his chest again. “I’m sorry I made you cry,” he mumbled, suddenly unable to look Changbin in the eyes. He stretched out his hand and linked pinky fingers with the other boy. “Will you forgive me?”

   Changbin closed his eyes and let out a long breath. As if exhausted, he sank down onto the couch. Seungmin didn’t let go of his pinky finger and carefully sat down next to him, afraid to get close but not willing to break contact.

   “Of course I forgive you,” Changbin sighed. “I’ll always forgive you, Min. I just… I wish you wouldn’t snap at me like that. I’m on your side, you know?”

   At his words, Seungmin shrank into himself. It felt like he was a child again, getting scolded by his parents— except worse, because it wasn’t his parents, it was the person he loved, and Changbin wasn’t even scolding him— he was _disappointed._

   “Oh, don’t be like that,” Changbin said quietly. He tugged on Seungmin’s pinky, then pulled him in close. “I love you.”

   “I love _you_ ,” Seungmin mumbled unhappily. He hated the fact that he was pouting and making Changbin take care of him again, but just like before, he really couldn’t help it. He wore his emotions on his sleeve.

   They sat like that for a while, Seungmin’s head resting on Changbin’s shoulder and Changbin mindlessly stroking Seungmin’s hand. It took some time for the tension to dissipate, but eventually Seungmin’s breathing steadied and his racing heartbeat calmed. He could still feel the rift between them, though, and he hated it. So he drew his legs up onto the couch and shifted closer to Changbin, and when the older boy made no attempt to move away, Seungmin leaned over to kiss him on the lips.

   But at the last second, Changbin turned his head away. Seungmin’s lips found his cheek instead, and his whole world crumbled.

   “I’m sorry,” Changbin said, looking away. “I— I can’t right now.”

   His words stung.

   “Oh,” Seungmin replied, not really sure what else to say. “Maybe… maybe I should go.” He stood up, half hoping that Changbin would stop him.

   The other boy just nodded. “I’m sorry, Minnie. Just, with the show and everything— I’m just tired.” He looked up at Seungmin, his eyes looking even bigger than usual because of the smudged eye makeup. It gave him a dark, worn-out look. “I’ll call you tomorrow, okay? I love you.”

   “Okay,” Seungmin said, his voice small. He couldn’t bring himself to say it back, so he just turned, grabbed his bag, and left.

   The corridor outside was quiet and dark, and nobody was there to see the tears making their way down Seungmin’s face as he walked down it. Alone.

* * *

 

   Seungmin stretched his arms out in bed, feeling the cool chill creeping into his room and burrowing deeper under his blankets. Fall would be here soon.

   He fumbled around for his phone, hoping to see a missed call. Sometimes Changbin called him right when he woke up, his voice all gravelly and sleepy, and when he finally got out of bed he would put Seungmin on speaker while he got ready for work. Seungmin always pretended to complain (“Hyung, why can't you wake up properly on your own?”), but he secretly loved being part of Changbin's morning routine.

   Nothing. No notifications at all.

   “ _Ugh,”_ Seungmin grumbled, chucking his phone to the foot of his bed. It bounced off the mattress and clattered to the floor. _Shit._ He hopped out of bed, feet cold on the bare floor, and crouched down to check the screen. No cracks. _Thank God,_ he thought. _Mom would kill me if I had to ask her for a new phone already._ She'd just bought this one for him a few months ago. He clutched it to his chest.

    _I guess he'll call later._

   Throughout his day, he continued to check his phone obsessively. He hardly heard a word his French teacher said, and even had trouble paying attention in his favorite class, astrobiology. He'd done all the reading the professor assigned on the Fermi paradox and he'd been excited to discuss it in class, but when the time came, he was silent and fidgety.

   By the time 4PM rolled around and Changbin still hadn't sent Seungmin so much as a single emoji, he was a wreck. He dragged his feet all the way to the coffee shop.

   “Hey,” he said mechanically to whoever was at the register, not even looking at their face. He tied his linen apron behind his back and punched in.

   “...Hi,” a voice said suspiciously. Seungmin finally looked up and could have smacked himself.

   Seungmin had been so caught up in his fight with Changbin that he'd _completely_ forgotten about the reason for the fight in the first place: Jisung.

   He instantly bristled. Embarrassment from last night came rushing over him, and that was the one emotion Seungmin was least equipped to handle— if irritated Seungmin was harsh, and angry Seungmin was unreasonable, embarrassed Seungmin was a downright terror. “Well, don’t just stand there all day,” he snapped. “I’m not the fucking circus, you don’t have to stare.”

   Jisung looked like he wanted to say something, but thought better of it. Instead he just sighed and turned back to the register, and Seungmin was shocked at how different he seemed today. The usually bright and over-eager boy was subdued and glum, his shoulders slumped and dark bags under his round eyes. Seungmin’s heart ached at the sight. _Forget about it_ , he ordered himself.

   If Jisung had been clumsy before, today he was an absolute mess. He spilled hot tea on a customer; broke two mugs _and_ a glass carafe; and forgot to put a filter in when he brewed the regular coffee which resulted in two angry customers coming back with cups full of grounds. All Jisung could do was stutter at them, so Seungmin pushed him aside and talked the customers down, sending them away with free pastries and pour-overs.

   It was a miserable five hours.

   After they locked the doors and turned off the neon _Open_ sign, Seungmin heaved a sigh of relief. He couldn’t wait to go home and forget about everything. Changbin _still_ hadn’t called him. Seungmin had stopped checking his phone after 7PM, the blank screen too painful for him to bear looking at anymore. _I knew he was mad,_ Seungmin thought, _but I didn’t think it was_ this _bad._

    _CRASH!_

Seungmin’s head snapped up at the noise and his eyes fell on Jisung, crouched on the floor next to yet _another_ broken cup.

   “Jisung, seriously? That’s the _fourth_ one today!” Seungmin’s voice was shrill and sharp, but when he saw Jisung’s face go blank at the scolding, he bit his tongue. Changbin’s voice from yesterday rang in his head. “ _You never think about how it makes people_ feel _.”_ Shame bubbled up inside him, and as he watched Jisung pick up the shattered ceramic pieces with his bare hands, silent and subdued, he was overcome with some kind of emotion he couldn’t put a name to. Something that had been there for awhile; something he’d been trying to ignore.

   Suddenly Jisung let out a yelp and snatched his hand towards his chest. Seungmin rushed towards him. “Are you okay?” he asked, reaching out towards the younger boy.

   Jisung flinched and pulled away, eyes wide with what looked like… _fear_.

   Seungmin’s heart broke. He really couldn’t take it. He didn’t want Jisung’s face to look like that; didn’t want Jisung to shrink away from him. It was exactly the _opposite_ of what he wanted.

   “Are you okay?” he asked again, softly this time. When Jisung just looked away, silent, Seungmin gingerly took the boy’s hand in his own, turning it over to inspect it. Blood was running down Jisung’s index finger, heavy enough to drip onto the wooden floor beneath them. “You cut yourself,” he said, a slight _tsk_ escaping his lips before he could stop it.

   “Sorry,” Jisung mumbled, still staring at the floor. “I’ll take care of it.” He tried to draw his hand back, but Seungmin didn’t let go.

   “Why won’t you let me help you?”

   When Jisung finally looked at him, his eyes were glistening and his face was flushed, as if he was barely holding back tears. “Because you hate me?” he replied, as if it were obvious. He sniffed and tried to tug his hand back again.

   “I don’t— I don’t hate you,” Seungmin said, voice barely above a whisper. He was so close to Jisung he could hear the other boy’s uneven breathing; could feel it puff against his cheek. His hand was slick with blood where it held onto Jisung’s, but he still didn’t let go. Something in Jisung’s gaze held him— maybe the way his eyes sparkled in the soft yellow light of the cafe, or maybe the depth of sadness that was written all over his face. Sadness that Seungmin had caused.

   Without thinking he leaned forward, and pressed his lips against Jisung’s.

   It was a quick, clumsy kiss, and Seungmin heard Jisung gasp against his lips as they made contact. Seungmin pulled away almost immediately when he realized what he’d done, scrambling backwards until his back thumped against the counter. Jisung was staring at him, eyes round and mouth hanging open in a little _o_ shape.

   They were frozen like that for a moment, eyes locked together and twin fires blazing on their cheeks. The empty cafe was silent and the air was still, and Seungmin might have believed that time had completely stopped if it weren’t for his own ragged breathing. And then— even though Jisung wasn’t trained to close and Seungmin hadn’t even cashed out the register yet— Seungmin got to his feet and bolted from the coffee shop.

   He didn’t stop running until he reached his dorm. And when he locked himself inside, panting and out of breath, he knew the frantic pounding of his heart had nothing to do with running and _everything_ to do with Han Jisung.  

**Author's Note:**

> hope y'all liked it! comments make me happy so lemme know if you enjoyed it uwu
> 
> next chapter coming soon! <3


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